The Discount Rack

As mentioned in yesterday's post, I've had a few things on my mind.

I was reading the blog "In the Name of Love" earlier this week and the post was about knowing where you came from so you know where you're going.

The question was asked, where did you come from?

I had been thinking about this very thing as of late.

I've been thinking about my childhood and where I came from.

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I grew up in a small fishing village. A town with less than 1000 residents. We didn't have much money. But we certainly didn't live in poverty. We had a roof over our heads, we had a car that got us from point a to point b, we even had cable.

However I do remember one winter when I overheard my Mom crying on the phone.

They didn't get enough working hours with the local fishplant to claim unemployment insurance for the winter.

It meant that we had to rely on welfare. I don't think it was the welfare itself that my mother was so upset about but the stereotype that people would label us with.
Fear that people would think she and my dad were lazy, abusing the system. Which just wasn't the case. I even remember my Mom telling me not to tell my friends of our financial situation.

I again remember her crying when our church brought us groceries. It was "that" moment...when our church showed us this charity that I realized how poor we actually were that winter.

Somehow growing up in a home filled with a lot of love but not much money has made the idea of being a high end photographer such a far fetched idea to me. The idea of photography being my sole source of income a dream that will never come true.

It's like I feel un-deserving of such an honour. It's like I'm afraid to actually ask for it to happen.

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Then on to Annette

I don't even know how Annette came about adding me as a friend on Facebook? I know she's a photographer and she's located in California.

But she is phenomenal and has regular blog posts that move me. This one rocked me to the core.

I strongly encourage you to read it.

The jest of it is to take yourself off the discount rack and stop lowering your value.

Yeah I can definitely understand that, especially when it comes to placing a value on myself, my photography.

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But most of all it was the Nelson Mandela quote in her post that was my main confirmation, that I do have value, that I'm not wrong to place value on my services of photography. That I am deserving of a rich life.

It is with mixed emotions....of fear, excitement and a lump in my throat that I share this quote with you....

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and famous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God."

~Nelson Manda